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I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Needs
Psychiatrist
Years
Onstage
Memorable
Wonderful
Maybe
Year
Comes
Need
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
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On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
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Every television show you go on is a choice.
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At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.
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Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
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Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
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Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
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When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.
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Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
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My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
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to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
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Better laid than never.
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In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected the only surprise is a day that has none.
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I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
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