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I hate reality shows that are not reality.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Hate
Shows
Reality

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
Joan Rivers
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Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
Joan Rivers
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
Joan Rivers
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Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
Joan Rivers
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Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.
Joan Rivers
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Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
Joan Rivers
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My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.
Joan Rivers
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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.
Joan Rivers
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
Joan Rivers
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
Joan Rivers
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I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
Joan Rivers
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No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
Joan Rivers
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
Joan Rivers
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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
Joan Rivers
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My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
Joan Rivers
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When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
Joan Rivers
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
Joan Rivers
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At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
Joan Rivers
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That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
Joan Rivers
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I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
Joan Rivers