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Every television show you go on is a choice.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Choice
Television
Choices
Show
Shows
Every
More quotes by Joan Rivers
old age' is always ten years more than we are.
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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
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Happiness, at my age, is breathing
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
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With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
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Never floss a stranger.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
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Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young' it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
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Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
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I think actual death will be a lot easier than dying on stage. Cause - you know - if you do [actual death] right, you can go looking good. Maybe with a little quip [like]: 'I loved everybody.' But dying on stage...Oh, God!
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Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
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My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.
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Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
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