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Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Swim
Oil
Strive
Behavior
Art
Else
Natures
Anything
Swimming
Like
Memorable

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I think we obviously need health care. Of course we need health care, but I think that it's gone too far the other way, and I don't understand it. It's gotten so complicated. The minute they made a deal with the drug companies, you know something isn't kosher here.
Joan Rivers
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I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
Joan Rivers
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To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
Joan Rivers
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Better laid than never.
Joan Rivers
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Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.
Joan Rivers
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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Joan Rivers
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The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!
Joan Rivers
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You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
Joan Rivers
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
Joan Rivers
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Every television show you go on is a choice.
Joan Rivers
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In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected the only surprise is a day that has none.
Joan Rivers
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
Joan Rivers
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old age' is always ten years more than we are.
Joan Rivers
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Self-pity shortens your life.
Joan Rivers
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
Joan Rivers
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
Joan Rivers
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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
Joan Rivers
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
Joan Rivers
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I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
Joan Rivers