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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Enough
Opened
Inspiring
Door
Fame
Smart
Doors
Humor
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
Joan Rivers
keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.
Joan Rivers
My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
Joan Rivers
Self-pity shortens your life.
Joan Rivers
My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.
Joan Rivers
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
Joan Rivers
I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
Joan Rivers
I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
Joan Rivers
I was my own buddy in camp.
Joan Rivers
When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
Joan Rivers
Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.
Joan Rivers
You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
Joan Rivers
In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
Joan Rivers
to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
Joan Rivers
I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
Joan Rivers
Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
Joan Rivers
Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.
Joan Rivers
Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
Joan Rivers
One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
Joan Rivers
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
Joan Rivers
