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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Enough
Opened
Inspiring
Door
Fame
Smart
Doors
Humor

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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Having a baby can be a scream.
Joan Rivers
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
Joan Rivers
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When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
Joan Rivers
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
Joan Rivers
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I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
Joan Rivers
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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
Joan Rivers
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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
Joan Rivers
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The only street I like is Rue Honore de Balzac, because 'Balzac' sound so gay, and I love my gays. I might like Parisians more if they named their streets only for gay icons, like Rue Liza Minnelli or Rue Bette Midler or, my favorite, Rue McClanahan.
Joan Rivers
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I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
Joan Rivers
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On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
Joan Rivers
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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
Joan Rivers
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All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
Joan Rivers
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I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
Joan Rivers
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If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.
Joan Rivers
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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
Joan Rivers
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Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
Joan Rivers
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I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
Joan Rivers
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As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'
Joan Rivers
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My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
Joan Rivers
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
Joan Rivers