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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Directory
Elizabeth
Taylor
Chins
Telephone
Telephones
Chinese
More quotes by Joan Rivers
Better laid than never.
Joan Rivers
My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
Joan Rivers
The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.
Joan Rivers
Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
Joan Rivers
She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
Joan Rivers
I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
Joan Rivers
I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
Joan Rivers
With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
Joan Rivers
That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
Joan Rivers
Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
Joan Rivers
I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.
Joan Rivers
I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.
Joan Rivers
I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
Joan Rivers
I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
Joan Rivers
Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
Joan Rivers
I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
Joan Rivers
Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
Joan Rivers
Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
Joan Rivers
Dogs are easier to love than people they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.
Joan Rivers
I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.
Joan Rivers