Quote

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Humor
Audience
Routines
Funny
Audiences
Come
Unhappiness
Therapy
Total
Group
Groups

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
Joan Rivers
Image
My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
Joan Rivers
Image
Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
Joan Rivers
Image
Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Joan Rivers
Image
But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you can't go horseback riding with Jackie O in Central Park if you're going to make a joke about her that night.
Joan Rivers
Image
My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.
Joan Rivers
Image
My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Shelia had died at birth.
Joan Rivers
Image
I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
Joan Rivers
Image
I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.
Joan Rivers
Image
Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
Joan Rivers
Image
At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
Joan Rivers
Image
My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
Joan Rivers
Image
I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
Joan Rivers
Image
I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.
Joan Rivers
Image
I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
Joan Rivers
Image
There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.
Joan Rivers
Image
Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.
Joan Rivers
Image
To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
Joan Rivers
Image
you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
Joan Rivers
Image
Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
Joan Rivers