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The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Makeup
Ideal
Ideals
Beauty
Found
Never
Fugitive
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
Joan Rivers
Self-pity shortens your life.
Joan Rivers
Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.
Joan Rivers
I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
Joan Rivers
I love the way my life has fallen into place.
Joan Rivers
Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
Joan Rivers
Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
Joan Rivers
I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
Joan Rivers
Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
Joan Rivers
my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.
Joan Rivers
I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
Joan Rivers
I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.
Joan Rivers
No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
Joan Rivers
You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.
Joan Rivers
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
Joan Rivers
I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
Joan Rivers
A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
Joan Rivers
I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked
Joan Rivers
Never floss a stranger.
Joan Rivers
With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
Joan Rivers
