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The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Beauty
Found
Never
Fugitive
Makeup
Ideal
Ideals
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
Joan Rivers
Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
Joan Rivers
I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
Joan Rivers
Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
Joan Rivers
Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.
Joan Rivers
Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
Joan Rivers
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
Joan Rivers
I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
Joan Rivers
Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.
Joan Rivers
I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
Joan Rivers
Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
Joan Rivers
On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
Joan Rivers
You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.
Joan Rivers
Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
Joan Rivers
I’m never without a bandage.
Joan Rivers
Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
Joan Rivers
I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
Joan Rivers
I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
Joan Rivers
I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
Joan Rivers
Sold my house in LA, packed myself up and moved to New York, not knowing anybody. Friends are very hard to make after a certain age.
Joan Rivers
