Quote

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Years
Everywhere
Cord
Like
Dog
Cords
Gave
Forgot
Birth
Parenting
Cutting
Motherhood
Baby
Followed
Obstetricians
Year
Memorable
Leash
Kids
Dumb
Leashes

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I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
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My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
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I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
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All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
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A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
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No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
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Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
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You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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Can we talk?
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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
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With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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