Quote

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Years
Everywhere
Cord
Like
Dog
Cords
Gave
Forgot
Birth
Parenting
Cutting
Motherhood
Baby
Followed
Obstetricians
Year
Memorable
Leash
Kids
Dumb
Leashes

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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.
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You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
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Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.
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I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
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A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don't want to go through menopause again.
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
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Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?
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I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked
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I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
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They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.
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Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
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I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
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Having a baby can be a scream.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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