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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Women
Flabby
Thighs
Fortunately
Covers
Memorable
Stomach

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The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
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Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
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That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
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After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.
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Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
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Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.
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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
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When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
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All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.
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keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
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I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
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