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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Flabby
Thighs
Fortunately
Covers
Memorable
Stomach
Women

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
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Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
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My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
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It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
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Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
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If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
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Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.
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The only street I like is Rue Honore de Balzac, because 'Balzac' sound so gay, and I love my gays. I might like Parisians more if they named their streets only for gay icons, like Rue Liza Minnelli or Rue Bette Midler or, my favorite, Rue McClanahan.
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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
Joan Rivers
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I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
Joan Rivers
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I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
Joan Rivers
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Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I'm very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something.
Joan Rivers
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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
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That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
Joan Rivers
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My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, pick up, I know you're there.
Joan Rivers