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I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Methods
Approval
Method
Accept
Accepting
People
More quotes by Joan Rivers
I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me sir.
Joan Rivers
On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
Joan Rivers
Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.
Joan Rivers
My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
Joan Rivers
Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
Joan Rivers
It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
Joan Rivers
All Angelina Jolie wants to do is do good for people. And she was saying to me: If I could just make one person happy, Joan, I'll die satisfied. I said: Easy! Just give Jennifer Aniston back her husband.
Joan Rivers
She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
Joan Rivers
Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
Joan Rivers
Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
Joan Rivers
You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
Joan Rivers
I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
Joan Rivers
My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.
Joan Rivers
I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
Joan Rivers
I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
Joan Rivers
Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
Joan Rivers
I think we obviously need health care. Of course we need health care, but I think that it's gone too far the other way, and I don't understand it. It's gotten so complicated. The minute they made a deal with the drug companies, you know something isn't kosher here.
Joan Rivers
I’m never without a bandage.
Joan Rivers
Every television show you go on is a choice.
Joan Rivers
I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
Joan Rivers