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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Saying
Success
Everyone
Else
Thinking
Succeeded
Memorable
Inspiration

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I hate reality shows that are not reality.
Joan Rivers
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
Joan Rivers
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
Joan Rivers
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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
Joan Rivers
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I was my own buddy in camp.
Joan Rivers
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When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.
Joan Rivers
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On her daughter Melissa: The only time she really cried is when I sat her down and told her that she was not adopted.
Joan Rivers
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if you don't think that all life is improvisation, then you haven't been paying attention. Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
Joan Rivers
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I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
Joan Rivers
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I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
Joan Rivers
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Learn what not to expect. Irish catholic they get sh**** little rings. Irish women get crappy rings. Baptist get the worst because they get the rings under water. When it comes up, it's garbage. Jewish, big rings. Episcopalian big rings. Italians-the best, because they get them off of dead people, and second wives get the biggest rings of all.
Joan Rivers
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I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.
Joan Rivers
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They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.
Joan Rivers
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What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.
Joan Rivers
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Every television show you go on is a choice.
Joan Rivers
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I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.
Joan Rivers
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One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.
Joan Rivers
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I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
Joan Rivers
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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
Joan Rivers
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I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
Joan Rivers