Quote

My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Told
Death
Wanted
Cremated
Every
Marcus
Way
Scatter
Ashes
Visit
Husband

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I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
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Bo Derek turned down the role of Helen Keller because she couldn't remember the lines.
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
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Can we talk?
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I don't mind aging, I just don't want to be a day older.
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There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.
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I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.
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I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
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Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.
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With this face, I need all the deals I can get.
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There is nothing funny about aging: It is rotten and depressing. Anyone who tells you otherwise just hasn't been paying attention.
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In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
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With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
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Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
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Having a baby can be a scream.
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
Joan Rivers