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My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Death
Wanted
Cremated
Every
Marcus
Way
Scatter
Ashes
Visit
Husband
Told
More quotes by Joan Rivers
Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
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A German sense of humor is an oxymoron.
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Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
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I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
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Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
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As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'
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To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
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to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
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My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.
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I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
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old age' is always ten years more than we are.
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You don’t marry for love. What does love got to do with marriage? I spit on love and marriage. You marry for money.
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Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
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I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
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I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'
Joan Rivers
I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
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In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected the only surprise is a day that has none.
Joan Rivers
