Quote

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Living
Thanks
Country
Bed
Sky
Shop
Limits
Shops
Late
Limit
Fashion
Aging
Television
Stores
Open
Thank

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
Never floss a stranger.
Joan Rivers
Image
I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
Joan Rivers
Image
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
Joan Rivers
Image
I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
Joan Rivers
Image
my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.
Joan Rivers
Image
I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
Joan Rivers
Image
I have no methods. All I do is accept people as they are.
Joan Rivers
Image
It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
Joan Rivers
Image
I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
Joan Rivers
Image
Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I'm very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something.
Joan Rivers
Image
Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
Joan Rivers
Image
Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
Joan Rivers
Image
The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I've been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.
Joan Rivers
Image
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
Joan Rivers
Image
God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
Joan Rivers
Image
I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
Joan Rivers
Image
I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
Joan Rivers
Image
I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
Joan Rivers
Image
Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
Joan Rivers
Image
The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.
Joan Rivers