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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Living
Thanks
Country
Bed
Sky
Shop
Limits
Shops
Late
Limit
Fashion
Aging
Television
Stores
Open
Thank

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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Better laid than never.
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Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
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You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
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I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
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If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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old age' is always ten years more than we are.
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Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!
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Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
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Two is company three is fifty bucks.
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Never floss a stranger.
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The only street I like is Rue Honore de Balzac, because 'Balzac' sound so gay, and I love my gays. I might like Parisians more if they named their streets only for gay icons, like Rue Liza Minnelli or Rue Bette Midler or, my favorite, Rue McClanahan.
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If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.
Joan Rivers
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I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
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I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
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Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
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A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
Joan Rivers