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A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Men
Asked
Tramps
Mistake
Nineteen
Sleep
Hilarious
Funny
Twenty
Woman
Twenties
Makes
Mistakes
Around
Jokes
Women
Questions
Tramp
More quotes by Joan Rivers
Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
Joan Rivers
I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.
Joan Rivers
When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
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A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: Run your own race, put on your blinders.
Joan Rivers
I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
Joan Rivers
You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
Joan Rivers
I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
Joan Rivers
Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
Joan Rivers
Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
Joan Rivers
If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.
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Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.
Joan Rivers
I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
Joan Rivers
The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
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Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
Joan Rivers
That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.
Joan Rivers
I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
Joan Rivers
That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
Joan Rivers
I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
Joan Rivers
Two is company three is fifty bucks.
Joan Rivers
I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.
Joan Rivers
