Quote

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.

Joan Rivers

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Wish
Twin
Look
Twins
Without
Surgery
Looks
Plastic
Like
Memorable
Comedian
Aging
Jokes

More quotes by Joan Rivers

Image
I was so flat I used to put Xs on my chest and write, 'You are here.' I wore angora sweaters just so the guys would have something to pet.
Joan Rivers
Image
I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.
Joan Rivers
Image
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
Joan Rivers
Image
I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
Joan Rivers
Image
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
Joan Rivers
Image
The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
Joan Rivers
Image
After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.
Joan Rivers
Image
Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.
Joan Rivers
Image
I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.
Joan Rivers
Image
I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
Joan Rivers
Image
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
Joan Rivers
Image
I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
Joan Rivers
Image
I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
Joan Rivers
Image
Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
Joan Rivers
Image
When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.
Joan Rivers
Image
I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
Joan Rivers
Image
Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
Joan Rivers
Image
Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I'm very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something.
Joan Rivers
Image
In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
Joan Rivers
Image
Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
Joan Rivers