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I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Care
Mean
Good
Happenings
Things
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Life
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More quotes by Joan Rivers
Better laid than never.
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keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.
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When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
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Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
Joan Rivers
I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.
Joan Rivers
I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.
Joan Rivers
Self-pity shortens your life.
Joan Rivers
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
Joan Rivers
Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?
Joan Rivers
Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all grief is a spectator sport for them.
Joan Rivers
She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
Joan Rivers
I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
Joan Rivers
Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
Joan Rivers
Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
Joan Rivers
I hate reality shows that are not reality.
Joan Rivers
Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.
Joan Rivers
Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.
Joan Rivers
Can we talk?
Joan Rivers
The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
Joan Rivers
I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
Joan Rivers
