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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Running
Firsts
First
Time
Smiling
Consider
Humor
Funny
Inspirational

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
Joan Rivers
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Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
Joan Rivers
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my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.
Joan Rivers
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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
Joan Rivers
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After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.
Joan Rivers
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
Joan Rivers
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I was absorbing a sorry truth of show business - rejection is the norm and acceptance the oddity. I was learning to cut the tops off my highs and stay with the lows where the rejections and letdowns would be shallow.
Joan Rivers
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I'm racist? How can that even be possible? I was a friend of Michael Jackson's back when he was black.
Joan Rivers
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old age' is always ten years more than we are.
Joan Rivers
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
Joan Rivers
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Self-pity shortens your life.
Joan Rivers
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
Joan Rivers
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That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
Joan Rivers
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Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
Joan Rivers
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
Joan Rivers
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I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.
Joan Rivers
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
Joan Rivers
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I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage I feel I am starting from scratch, still not quite sure what I am doing and where I am going, thrown by the simplest thing that goes wrong.
Joan Rivers
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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
Joan Rivers
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My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
Joan Rivers