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The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Consider
Humor
Funny
Inspirational
Running
Firsts
First
Time
Smiling

More quotes by Joan Rivers

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I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
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Never admit that your back goes out more than you do
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My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.
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My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
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I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.
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Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
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Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
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In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected the only surprise is a day that has none.
Joan Rivers
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I like my politicians and my judges and my lawyers to be simple. I think if you worry about where your hemline is you're really not concentrating on the world crisis.
Joan Rivers
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I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.
Joan Rivers
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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
Joan Rivers
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I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.
Joan Rivers
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The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
Joan Rivers
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The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.
Joan Rivers
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If you don't want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly.
Joan Rivers
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How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
Joan Rivers
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What I love about jewelry is you can change it for something else without surgery.
Joan Rivers
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I love the way my life has fallen into place.
Joan Rivers
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Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough.
Joan Rivers
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Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
Joan Rivers