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Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Matter
Counsel
Feel
Deeply
Feels
Awareness
Mind
Follow
Good
Advice
Think
Wise
Thinking
Wisdom
Spirit
More quotes by Joan Rivers
In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
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My daughter refuses to call me mother in public my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.
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I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.
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I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe.
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How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
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God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.
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You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.
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I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.
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I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.
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Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
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Welcome to my world! I've been through it all, and I often pinch myself to believe my luck. I design jewlery, create cosmetics, perform comedy, act, lecture, write books, travel, have a fabulous daughter, and a phenomenal grandson-and I feel I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.
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She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
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Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.
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I was my own buddy in camp.
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to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
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Learn what not to expect. Irish catholic they get sh**** little rings. Irish women get crappy rings. Baptist get the worst because they get the rings under water. When it comes up, it's garbage. Jewish, big rings. Episcopalian big rings. Italians-the best, because they get them off of dead people, and second wives get the biggest rings of all.
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Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.
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Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube.
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I caused my husband's heart attack. In the middle of lovemaking I took the paper bag off my head. He dropped the Polaroid and keeled over and so did the hooker. It would have taken me half an hour to untie myself and call the paramedics, but fortunately the Great Dane could dial.
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I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays
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