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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
Joan Rivers
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Joan Rivers
Age: 81 †
Born: 1933
Born: June 8
Died: 2014
Died: September 4
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Personality
Brooklyn
New York
Joan Alexandra Molinsky
Hate
Bed
Beds
Women
Jokes
Chores
Make
Luck
Housework
Later
Hilarious
Months
Dishes
Humor
Memorable
Start
Comedian
Funny
Six
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My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.
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The psychic scars caused by believing that you are ugly leave a permanent mark on your personality.
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Having a baby can be a scream.
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you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
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Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.
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Every television show you go on is a choice.
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I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.
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Never floss a stranger.
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Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
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Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
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I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
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I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
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In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.
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When a man has a birthday, he takes a day off. When a woman has a birthday, she takes at least three years off.
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Two is company three is fifty bucks.
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