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My God, I'm four hundred years old and the most I can do is look three hundred.

Joan Crawford

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Joan Crawford
Age: 73 †
Born: 1904
Born: March 23
Died: 1977
Died: May 10
Actor
Businessperson
Dancer
Film Actor
Model
Television Actor
Military City
USA
Lucille Fay LeSueur
Lucille LeSueur
Looks
Years
Hundred
Four
Age
Three
Look

More quotes by Joan Crawford

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Dammit, don't you dare ask God to help me!
Joan Crawford
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I absolutely will not allow anyone to call me grandmother. They can call me Auntie Joan, Dee-Dee, Cho-Cho, anything but grandmother. It pushes a woman almost to the grave.
Joan Crawford
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While making Possessed, I wept each morning on my drive to the studio, and I wept all the way back home. I found it impossible to sleep at night, so I'd lie in bed contemplating the future. I fear it with all my heart and soul even as I fear the dark.
Joan Crawford
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Mr. Cukor is a hard task-master, a fine director and he took me over the coals giving me the roughest time I have ever had. And I am eternally grateful.
Joan Crawford
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There's nothing wrong with my tits, but I don't go around throwing them in people's faces!
Joan Crawford
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Box-office poison? Mr. Louis B. Mayer always asserted that the studio had built Stage 22, Stage 24 and the Irving Thalberg Building, brick by brick, from the income on my pictures.
Joan Crawford
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Be afraid of nothing.
Joan Crawford
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Not that anyone cares, but there's a right and wrong way to clean a house.
Joan Crawford
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Make your wardrobe as versatile as an actress. It should be able to play many roles.
Joan Crawford
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Sensitive husbands don't like second billing. I don't believe Franchot ever for a moment resented the fact that I was a star. Possibly he resented Hollywood's refusal to let him forget it. There was never a doubt in my mind that his talent was greater than mine.
Joan Crawford
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I'd like to think every director I've worked with has fallen in love with me, I know Dorothy Arzner did.
Joan Crawford
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Well, we can skip childhood because I didn't have any. Not one goddam moment on the Good Ship Lollipop.
Joan Crawford
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It is my intention to make no provision herein for my son Christopher or my daughter Christina for reasons which are well known to them.
Joan Crawford
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Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite ta a party.
Joan Crawford
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The 1930s Hollywood was capable of hurting me so much. The things about Hollywood that could hurt me (when I first came) can't touch me now. I suddenly decided that they shouldn't hurt me - that was all.
Joan Crawford
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Nobody can imitate me. You can always see impersonations of Katharine Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe. But not me. Because I've always drawn on myself only.
Joan Crawford
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all that time hanging around the sets, watching Norma Shearer make the most of her three expressions, was a help.
Joan Crawford
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Sure, I'd play an ape if they asked me. Maurice Evans did.
Joan Crawford
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[To the mother of two unruly children in a restaurant after the woman said she really didn't know what to do with her children:] Have you tried infanticide?
Joan Crawford
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I remember most clearly when a teenage Christopher spat in my face. He said, I hate you. It's pretty hard to overlook that. I couldn't.
Joan Crawford