Quote

I've been breastfeeding for two years. I could light the gas ring with my nipples.

Jo Brand

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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
Years
Nipples
Gas
Ring
Rings
Two
Light

More quotes by Jo Brand

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I'm a Luddite with computers, and I'm slightly worried about being hacked as well.
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My doctor told me I should get out of breath three times a week, so I took up smoking.
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Wild men are so enormously attractive.
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The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.
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I'm sure some cynical people would point to that as the main reason for doing it for a lot of people.
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When I was a nurse I never had much money, and I was still happy then.
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Most of us manage the fateful things that happen in our lives the best we can, certainly not to a Stalin-like 20-year plan.
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It's a video release as well so I have to be perfectly honest and go, probably not specifically for DVD, but there are extra bits on it that aren't on anything else, so as exciting as that sounds.
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Television provokes strong opinions, and sometimes we try a bit too hard to appeal to everyone.
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There's lots of different feminist groups. It's not as straightforward as just looking like a plumber.
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My mum and my husband are from Irish backgrounds so we have a lot of potatoes. Chips, mashed, boiled, new potatoes, I love them all. Even the slightly wanky ones like Duchess potatoes that go up in a little spiral.
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People can forgive each other.
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I believe that if your brain has to get to grips with complicated words, then you won't get Alzheimer's. I'm sure it's not true, but I do believe it.
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I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways.
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There are lots of people who believe that caricature of me the tabloids created, so they think they don't like me.
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How do you conduct an intimate relationship where no one ever loses it? Where no one ever lashes out, where no one ever smacks anyone in the mouth?
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I have big friends who won't go swimming because they're too embarrassed about it. I feel that's such a shame, because actually people should be encouraging fat people who are exercising to do it, not pointing and laughing.
Jo Brand
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One thing Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug.
Jo Brand
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People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare.
Jo Brand
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I buy smoked mackerel in a vain attempt at being healthy. I do actually really like it, and you don't have to cook it, which is handy.
Jo Brand