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I've been breastfeeding for two years. I could light the gas ring with my nipples.

Jo Brand

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TAGS & TOPICS

Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
Nipples
Gas
Ring
Rings
Two
Light
Years

More quotes by Jo Brand

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I'm a Luddite with computers, and I'm slightly worried about being hacked as well.
Jo Brand
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No one I know is actually so rude as to tell me I've become duller since having children. But I'm sure they think it.
Jo Brand
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I've never trained as an actor. I've always thought I'm not a good actor. I've been told I'm not a good actor by a lot of people.
Jo Brand
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I must be an anorexic because an anorexic looks in the mirror and sees a fat person.
Jo Brand
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I'm sure some cynical people would point to that as the main reason for doing it for a lot of people.
Jo Brand
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Fat people are brilliant in bed. If I'm sitting on top of you, who's going to argue?
Jo Brand
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Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female.
Jo Brand
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I took my husband to the hospital yesterday to have 17 stitches out - that'll teach him to buy me a sewing kit for my birthday.
Jo Brand
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Being Christian towards poor people means trying to improve their lives and give them back some self-respect.
Jo Brand
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My mum and my husband are from Irish backgrounds so we have a lot of potatoes. Chips, mashed, boiled, new potatoes, I love them all. Even the slightly wanky ones like Duchess potatoes that go up in a little spiral.
Jo Brand
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Let's face it: I am not a professional runner.
Jo Brand
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I wouldn't say I was organised at all. I just have to prioritise. Is it more important for them to be organised, or to have their dinner, do you know what I mean?
Jo Brand
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How do you conduct an intimate relationship where no one ever loses it? Where no one ever lashes out, where no one ever smacks anyone in the mouth?
Jo Brand
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Anybody who has had the pleasure of reading an article about themselves in the press, knows that on the whole, there is a huge amount of inaccuracy, value judgment and the use of a crowbar to insert editorial bias that reflects the current political leaning of that particular paper.
Jo Brand
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I buy smoked mackerel in a vain attempt at being healthy. I do actually really like it, and you don't have to cook it, which is handy.
Jo Brand
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I'd love to live in Kent but it's all a question of work.
Jo Brand
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I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways.
Jo Brand
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I tend to think the world is a bit of a miserable place, so anyone who can add to people's optimistic, cheerful side is doing a good job, which is what I hope I'm doing.
Jo Brand
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When I was a nurse I never had much money, and I was still happy then.
Jo Brand
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I think people tend to believe that women who are successful are probably neglecting their children, possibly a bit hard-nosed and that they don't really support other women very much - that they're men-haters and ball-breakers. I've certainly been on the receiving end of those 'compliments' for most of my career.
Jo Brand