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Fat people are brilliant in bed. If I'm sitting on top of you, who's going to argue?
Jo Brand
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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
Going
People
Argue
Fats
Arguing
Bed
Brilliant
Sitting
More quotes by Jo Brand
I took my husband to the hospital yesterday to have 17 stitches out - that'll teach him to buy me a sewing kit for my birthday.
Jo Brand
One of the guys that used to run it - for some reason I've no idea why he used to call me the Sea Monster and I was just looking around for a name and thought that'll do. That lasted for a couple of years probably.
Jo Brand
I don't know if we will ever try again because those sort of things are very hard to organise but yes, I've known Doon for years and John as well but I hadn't met Will before, and he turned out to be a good laugh.
Jo Brand
On the whole, you can have a private life and be famous. But when milestones happen in your life like having children or getting married, privacy goes out of the window.
Jo Brand
Television provokes strong opinions, and sometimes we try a bit too hard to appeal to everyone.
Jo Brand
You know it's time for a New Year's resolution to lose weight when you step on a talking scale and it says, One at a time, please.
Jo Brand
I'm a real Kentish maid, you know.
Jo Brand
I believe that if your brain has to get to grips with complicated words, then you won't get Alzheimer's. I'm sure it's not true, but I do believe it.
Jo Brand
And I also felt that no one in an audience could abuse me worse than the sort of abuse I had had at work as a psychiatric nurse.
Jo Brand
It is unrealistic to expect an entire profession to be completely good. There are bound to be some individuals who are stressed, who are unkind, who are a bit rubbish at their job, who are in the wrong career.
Jo Brand
When I was a nurse I never had much money, and I was still happy then.
Jo Brand
In the end, punk inevitably burned itself out and acted as a bridge across which the New Romantics could sashay in their chiffon and glossy hair.
Jo Brand
I'm sure some cynical people would point to that as the main reason for doing it for a lot of people.
Jo Brand
I'm a Luddite with computers, and I'm slightly worried about being hacked as well.
Jo Brand
I think it's difficult, if you're a quite private person like I am, to write about your life very intimately.
Jo Brand
I think actors go along a continuum from Simon Callow down to kind of Ross Kemp, and I like to think of myself as the Ross Kemp of comedy. He's very good in 'East Enders' because he plays a version of himself. I think I can play a version of myself - that's about all I can do.
Jo Brand
Having done a normal job for 10 years, as a psychiatric nurse dealing with emergencies, I know what terrible, hopeless lives some people have. So in many ways, it's great to be able to wield the financial power that I can, and do gigs, fundraisers or give money. I feel lucky I can help out.
Jo Brand
The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.
Jo Brand
I've been breastfeeding for two years. I could light the gas ring with my nipples.
Jo Brand
There's still this underlying image of women that they should fulfil a certain role. It's no accident that a lot of men who are a bit misogynistic tend to say things like 'get back to the kitchen' or 'why aren't you at home looking after the kids'.
Jo Brand