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I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully.

Jo Brand

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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
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Going
Parents
Made
Parent
People
Effort
Funny
Bore
Death
Bores
Without
Hopefully
Children
Supreme

More quotes by Jo Brand

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Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female.
Jo Brand
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Television provokes strong opinions, and sometimes we try a bit too hard to appeal to everyone.
Jo Brand
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An overweight guy went to the doctor who advised him to try a keep fit DVD. But the guy said he couldn't be bothered. “Well” suggested the doctor, “try something that leaves you a little short of breath.” So the buy took up smoking.
Jo Brand
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My preference is swimming in the sea. I find the sea is more liberating, wild and good fun rather than plodding up and down a pool.
Jo Brand
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Everything becomes magnified at night. Sounds travel in a different way, it's dark, and everything seems far more spooky.
Jo Brand
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My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn't know he was in a coma.
Jo Brand
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I like men. They are hugely entertaining, but they have a lot of shortcomings and you just have to bear those in mind.
Jo Brand
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I like to shock people.
Jo Brand
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I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways.
Jo Brand
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There are lots of people who believe that caricature of me the tabloids created, so they think they don't like me.
Jo Brand
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I have big friends who won't go swimming because they're too embarrassed about it. I feel that's such a shame, because actually people should be encouraging fat people who are exercising to do it, not pointing and laughing.
Jo Brand
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There's something people do to you when they bully you that makes you feel like you're on your own. But don't keep things inside, it's really damaging if you do.
Jo Brand
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I think it's difficult, if you're a quite private person like I am, to write about your life very intimately.
Jo Brand
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There are problems with nursing - such as the issue of nurses all having to do degrees these days. But that doesn’t mean to say the entire infrastructure of nursing is falling about and that it is populated by unfeeling psychopaths, which is, frankly, the implication sometimes.
Jo Brand
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There are two types of people in this world: one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go.
Jo Brand
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Most of us manage the fateful things that happen in our lives the best we can, certainly not to a Stalin-like 20-year plan.
Jo Brand
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No one I know is actually so rude as to tell me I've become duller since having children. But I'm sure they think it.
Jo Brand
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Even when I wasn't overweight I was never one of those girls or women who wanted to look nice. I always thought it wasn't important.
Jo Brand
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The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.
Jo Brand
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If I am totally honest, I would have to say that ''Allo 'Allo!' was not my cup of tea, even though lots of people loved it. For that reason, I find comedy fascinating. There is a huge difference between what people find funny.
Jo Brand