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My doctor told me I should get out of breath three times a week, so I took up smoking.
Jo Brand
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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
Week
Smoking
Times
Doctor
Three
Breath
Breaths
Doctors
Exercise
Took
Told
More quotes by Jo Brand
I don't like doing stand-up, because I don't like standing up.
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One thing Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug.
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Over the years I attempted to make my style a bit more relaxed 'cause the initial style you couldn't watch for more than ten minutes without wanting to kill me.
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The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.
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I was always being called upon to be an honorary boy alongside my brothers. I don't think I'd be a comic now if it hadn't been for that.
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I'd love to live in Kent but it's all a question of work.
Jo Brand
I don't know if we will ever try again because those sort of things are very hard to organise but yes, I've known Doon for years and John as well but I hadn't met Will before, and he turned out to be a good laugh.
Jo Brand
I think there's a far more general audience now because I've done more populist stuff on telly.
Jo Brand
An overweight guy went to the doctor who advised him to try a keep fit DVD. But the guy said he couldn't be bothered. “Well” suggested the doctor, “try something that leaves you a little short of breath.” So the buy took up smoking.
Jo Brand
When I was a nurse I never had much money, and I was still happy then.
Jo Brand
My mum always felt that women deserved as much as men, and should have as much power, so I suppose I opted to go into a very male-dominated arena to try and prove that.
Jo Brand
I just don't like travelling very much.
Jo Brand
There's something people do to you when they bully you that makes you feel like you're on your own. But don't keep things inside, it's really damaging if you do.
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Punk allowed women to stop looking feminine. Oh, the relief.
Jo Brand
Being Christian towards poor people means trying to improve their lives and give them back some self-respect.
Jo Brand
Inside every fat person there's a thin person looking to get out - They've just eaten them.
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I went on the pill when I was 16, put on four stone... so that proved to be a very effective contraceptive.
Jo Brand
Even when I wasn't overweight I was never one of those girls or women who wanted to look nice. I always thought it wasn't important.
Jo Brand
I've been breastfeeding for two years. I could light the gas ring with my nipples.
Jo Brand
I think my comedy, the put-downs I do to hecklers, are the accumulated bitterness of years of people feeling that it's perfectly acceptable to make a comment on your appearance when they don't even know you.
Jo Brand