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You know it's time for a New Year's resolution to lose weight when you step on a talking scale and it says, One at a time, please.

Jo Brand

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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
Talking
Weight
Years
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Time
Please
Steps
Lose
Says
Resolution
Loses
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I like reading, I like boring things, and yet I think people for ages had this image of me that I was on the tube with a chainsaw looking for any likely candidate.
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I wouldn't say I was organised at all. I just have to prioritise. Is it more important for them to be organised, or to have their dinner, do you know what I mean?
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There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics it's something to do with the social structure of society.
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I'm a Luddite with computers, and I'm slightly worried about being hacked as well.
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I've never, ever had people being aggressive to me in public or abusing me, and actually quite a lot of men do say to me, 'You're quite good' - though they can't bear to go, 'You're great.'
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As the Tories know, the problem with setting yourself up as a shining example for others to follow is that when you get caught out, that proverbial substance really hits the fan.
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Regular panelists on shows can be terrifying. They own that space, and many guest comics suspect they are favoured in the edit, while their own hilarious jokes end up being ejected into the ether.
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I've never been a fan of euphemism.
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Fat people are brilliant in bed. If I'm sitting on top of you, who's going to argue?
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Men are fantastic - as a concept.
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With two small children, I haven't had a wash since 2001 so the chance to go shopping is way down the list. It is something I do intend to get.
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They say revenge is a dish best eaten cold, but for most people, by the time it's ready to eat, they just don't fancy it any more.
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My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn't know he was in a coma.
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When I was a nurse I never had much money, and I was still happy then.
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I like the purity of stand-up because it is all about whether people laugh at your jokes. Either they laugh or they don't.
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People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare.
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My preference is swimming in the sea. I find the sea is more liberating, wild and good fun rather than plodding up and down a pool.
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People are so different in reality from the picture created of them on TV. So it's all a creation everything is made up.
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Even when I wasn't overweight I was never one of those girls or women who wanted to look nice. I always thought it wasn't important.
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Television provokes strong opinions, and sometimes we try a bit too hard to appeal to everyone.
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