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When I got married, the Sun ran the headline: Here comes the bride, all fat and wide. Luckily, it was a few days after the wedding - but it was still hideous to read at a great romantic moment.

Jo Brand

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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
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More quotes by Jo Brand

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I have two brothers and we basically spent our lives playing in the woods, falling in ponds, getting chased by wasps and riding donkeys that we shouldn't have been riding.
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I used to do bell ringing in Benenden church. It was really good fun, actually. My best friend's dad was the local vicar, and so it was expected as her best friend that I would go to church every Sunday with her.
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I remember when Victoria Wood started to come through, and I thought she was great, though she and I are very different in our approach.
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Being Christian towards poor people means trying to improve their lives and give them back some self-respect.
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I think there's a far more general audience now because I've done more populist stuff on telly.
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People can forgive each other.
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I'm a real Kentish maid, you know.
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I often tell audiences at the start of my shows that I'm not gay because I've got petitions from lesbian groups saying 'Can you tell people you're heterosexual because you're giving us a bad name.'
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Having done a normal job for 10 years, as a psychiatric nurse dealing with emergencies, I know what terrible, hopeless lives some people have. So in many ways, it's great to be able to wield the financial power that I can, and do gigs, fundraisers or give money. I feel lucky I can help out.
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Even when I wasn't overweight I was never one of those girls or women who wanted to look nice. I always thought it wasn't important.
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Wild men are so enormously attractive.
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I think the key attributes for a good speaker are someone that's articulate and someone that puts a fair amount of humour into what they do.
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My preference is swimming in the sea. I find the sea is more liberating, wild and good fun rather than plodding up and down a pool.
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Regular panelists on shows can be terrifying. They own that space, and many guest comics suspect they are favoured in the edit, while their own hilarious jokes end up being ejected into the ether.
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My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn't know he was in a coma.
Jo Brand
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I like reading, I like boring things, and yet I think people for ages had this image of me that I was on the tube with a chainsaw looking for any likely candidate.
Jo Brand
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I'm a Luddite with computers, and I'm slightly worried about being hacked as well.
Jo Brand
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I think some people ramp a side of themselves up for performance purposes.
Jo Brand
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One thing Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug.
Jo Brand
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So, my style has hopefully changed over the years and it is more relaxed, and I do tend to smile and have more than one expression these days hopefully - which I didn't at the beginning.
Jo Brand