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When I got married, the Sun ran the headline: Here comes the bride, all fat and wide. Luckily, it was a few days after the wedding - but it was still hideous to read at a great romantic moment.

Jo Brand

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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
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More quotes by Jo Brand

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Let's face it: I am not a professional runner.
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I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully.
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I was always being called upon to be an honorary boy alongside my brothers. I don't think I'd be a comic now if it hadn't been for that.
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My mum taught me to knit when I was a child, and I turn to it, for some weird reason, when I'm feeling depressed.
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Punk allowed women to stop looking feminine. Oh, the relief.
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With two small children, I haven't had a wash since 2001 so the chance to go shopping is way down the list. It is something I do intend to get.
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I pay a bit more than lip-service to health: I don't eat chips or pre-prepared food, and it might be a comedy sacrilege to admit I do like vegetables, fruit and salad and stuff.
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People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare.
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The funny thing is, I don't actually think of myself as fat at all. I don't think I am. Not really.
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I thought I was funny as a kid.
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It is unrealistic to expect an entire profession to be completely good. There are bound to be some individuals who are stressed, who are unkind, who are a bit rubbish at their job, who are in the wrong career.
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I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways.
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I went on the pill when I was 16, put on four stone... so that proved to be a very effective contraceptive.
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I'm not a flag waver for obesity. It's not healthy, and you have a crap life because there is such a downer on it.
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I like to shock people.
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My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn't know he was in a coma.
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Over the years I attempted to make my style a bit more relaxed 'cause the initial style you couldn't watch for more than ten minutes without wanting to kill me.
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Fat people are brilliant in bed. If I'm sitting on top of you, who's going to argue?
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My doctor told me I should get out of breath three times a week, so I took up smoking.
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Wild men are so enormously attractive.
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