Quote

There are two types of people in this world: one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go.

Jo Brand

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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
World
Opens
People
Types
Puts
Type
Packet
Rest
Cupboard
Two
Cupboards
Back
Biscuits
Whole
Eats

More quotes by Jo Brand

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I must be an anorexic because an anorexic looks in the mirror and sees a fat person.
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I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully.
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There are lots of people who believe that caricature of me the tabloids created, so they think they don't like me.
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Privatisation splits hospital services into increasingly small packages.
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I believe that if your brain has to get to grips with complicated words, then you won't get Alzheimer's. I'm sure it's not true, but I do believe it.
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I'm sure some cynical people would point to that as the main reason for doing it for a lot of people.
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The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.
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I tried to eat better too, but when you're on tour you literally just eat some hideous pork pie on the motorway on the way to a show. It's a really unhealthy lifestyle: you're up late, drinking loads of coffee to stay awake, drinking loads of alcohol because you're socialising with people.
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Being Christian towards poor people means trying to improve their lives and give them back some self-respect.
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I think my comedy, the put-downs I do to hecklers, are the accumulated bitterness of years of people feeling that it's perfectly acceptable to make a comment on your appearance when they don't even know you.
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When I was a nurse I never had much money, and I was still happy then.
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I love everything about books. I love the content, the way they look and even the lovely way they smell. I think a book collection says something about you as a person, and certainly my books are something I'd want to pass on for future generations.
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On the whole, you can have a private life and be famous. But when milestones happen in your life like having children or getting married, privacy goes out of the window.
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I like the purity of stand-up because it is all about whether people laugh at your jokes. Either they laugh or they don't.
Jo Brand
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When I got married, the Sun ran the headline: Here comes the bride, all fat and wide. Luckily, it was a few days after the wedding - but it was still hideous to read at a great romantic moment.
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I don't know if we will ever try again because those sort of things are very hard to organise but yes, I've known Doon for years and John as well but I hadn't met Will before, and he turned out to be a good laugh.
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I don't hold any candle for drama versus comedy.
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Even when I wasn't overweight I was never one of those girls or women who wanted to look nice. I always thought it wasn't important.
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I took my husband to the hospital yesterday to have 17 stitches out - that'll teach him to buy me a sewing kit for my birthday.
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I often tell audiences at the start of my shows that I'm not gay because I've got petitions from lesbian groups saying 'Can you tell people you're heterosexual because you're giving us a bad name.'
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