Quote

There are two types of people in this world: one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go.

Jo Brand

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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
Two
Cupboards
Back
Biscuits
Whole
Eats
World
Opens
People
Types
Puts
Type
Packet
Rest
Cupboard

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Wild men are so enormously attractive.
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I've been breastfeeding for two years. I could light the gas ring with my nipples.
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I've never been a fan of euphemism.
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Men are fantastic - as a concept.
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One thing Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug.
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I think people tend to believe that women who are successful are probably neglecting their children, possibly a bit hard-nosed and that they don't really support other women very much - that they're men-haters and ball-breakers. I've certainly been on the receiving end of those 'compliments' for most of my career.
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People can forgive each other.
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And I also felt that no one in an audience could abuse me worse than the sort of abuse I had had at work as a psychiatric nurse.
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When you get to know someone, you find there's something nasty in their woodshed.
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There are lots of people who believe that caricature of me the tabloids created, so they think they don't like me.
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I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully.
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One thing lots of Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug. This winds lots of people up, particularly because famous Christians pronounce on the life of the poor from their very lovely affluent homes filled with their very lovely families and attractive pets.
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I think it's difficult, if you're a quite private person like I am, to write about your life very intimately.
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How do you conduct an intimate relationship where no one ever loses it? Where no one ever lashes out, where no one ever smacks anyone in the mouth?
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I've never trained as an actor. I've always thought I'm not a good actor. I've been told I'm not a good actor by a lot of people.
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I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways.
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I buy smoked mackerel in a vain attempt at being healthy. I do actually really like it, and you don't have to cook it, which is handy.
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My doctor told me I should get out of breath three times a week, so I took up smoking.
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I'm not a flag waver for obesity. It's not healthy, and you have a crap life because there is such a downer on it.
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Let's face it: I am not a professional runner.
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