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There are two types of people in this world: one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go.

Jo Brand

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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
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Whole
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World
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More quotes by Jo Brand

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I think the key attributes for a good speaker are someone that's articulate and someone that puts a fair amount of humour into what they do.
Jo Brand
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I think actors go along a continuum from Simon Callow down to kind of Ross Kemp, and I like to think of myself as the Ross Kemp of comedy. He's very good in 'East Enders' because he plays a version of himself. I think I can play a version of myself - that's about all I can do.
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I think a lot of women are incredibly tough and they're just really admirable. Especially the way that, given what they've got, they just manage to carry on.
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Even when I wasn't overweight I was never one of those girls or women who wanted to look nice. I always thought it wasn't important.
Jo Brand
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I've never been a fan of euphemism.
Jo Brand
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I don't hold any candle for drama versus comedy.
Jo Brand
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I think there's a far more general audience now because I've done more populist stuff on telly.
Jo Brand
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It's a video release as well so I have to be perfectly honest and go, probably not specifically for DVD, but there are extra bits on it that aren't on anything else, so as exciting as that sounds.
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Privatisation splits hospital services into increasingly small packages.
Jo Brand
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I've been breastfeeding for two years. I could light the gas ring with my nipples.
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I don't know if we will ever try again because those sort of things are very hard to organise but yes, I've known Doon for years and John as well but I hadn't met Will before, and he turned out to be a good laugh.
Jo Brand
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I've never trained as an actor. I've always thought I'm not a good actor. I've been told I'm not a good actor by a lot of people.
Jo Brand
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I'm sure some cynical people would point to that as the main reason for doing it for a lot of people.
Jo Brand
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I used to get a lot of people saying 'Oh, you are such a lucky granny.' But the fact of the matter is you can be a grandma at 35 these days.
Jo Brand
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I'm just trying to spread the word and upturn the myth that actually you should be resting after cancer treatment. You shouldn't you should be getting out and doing any kind of exercise you can. You don't have to run a marathon, but you just have to up your activity levels.
Jo Brand
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Occasionally, some sitcoms still stereotype women - the old dragon or the dolly bird - but on the whole we've moved away from that.
Jo Brand
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I've never, ever had people being aggressive to me in public or abusing me, and actually quite a lot of men do say to me, 'You're quite good' - though they can't bear to go, 'You're great.'
Jo Brand
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I'm not a flag waver for obesity. It's not healthy, and you have a crap life because there is such a downer on it.
Jo Brand
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I used to do bell ringing in Benenden church. It was really good fun, actually. My best friend's dad was the local vicar, and so it was expected as her best friend that I would go to church every Sunday with her.
Jo Brand
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An overweight guy went to the doctor who advised him to try a keep fit DVD. But the guy said he couldn't be bothered. “Well” suggested the doctor, “try something that leaves you a little short of breath.” So the buy took up smoking.
Jo Brand