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I used to do bell ringing in Benenden church. It was really good fun, actually. My best friend's dad was the local vicar, and so it was expected as her best friend that I would go to church every Sunday with her.

Jo Brand

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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
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With proper acting, I don't know what I would play - I got sent a script for a play, and it said in the notes that my proposed character was 'hideously fat and ugly'. That made my day. I mean, I do know I am no oil painting.
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Fat people are brilliant in bed. If I'm sitting on top of you, who's going to argue?
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Everything becomes magnified at night. Sounds travel in a different way, it's dark, and everything seems far more spooky.
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I'm a Luddite with computers, and I'm slightly worried about being hacked as well.
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Punk allowed women to stop looking feminine. Oh, the relief.
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When I got married, the Sun ran the headline: Here comes the bride, all fat and wide. Luckily, it was a few days after the wedding - but it was still hideous to read at a great romantic moment.
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There are lots of people who believe that caricature of me the tabloids created, so they think they don't like me.
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There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics it's something to do with the social structure of society.
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I must be an anorexic because an anorexic looks in the mirror and sees a fat person.
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The funny thing is, I don't actually think of myself as fat at all. I don't think I am. Not really.
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On the whole, you can have a private life and be famous. But when milestones happen in your life like having children or getting married, privacy goes out of the window.
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I have two brothers and we basically spent our lives playing in the woods, falling in ponds, getting chased by wasps and riding donkeys that we shouldn't have been riding.
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There's lots of different feminist groups. It's not as straightforward as just looking like a plumber.
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You know it's time for a New Year's resolution to lose weight when you step on a talking scale and it says, One at a time, please.
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I'm sure some cynical people would point to that as the main reason for doing it for a lot of people.
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I pay a bit more than lip-service to health: I don't eat chips or pre-prepared food, and it might be a comedy sacrilege to admit I do like vegetables, fruit and salad and stuff.
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I was always being called upon to be an honorary boy alongside my brothers. I don't think I'd be a comic now if it hadn't been for that.
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They say revenge is a dish best eaten cold, but for most people, by the time it's ready to eat, they just don't fancy it any more.
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The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.
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I've never trained as an actor. I've always thought I'm not a good actor. I've been told I'm not a good actor by a lot of people.
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