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I pay a bit more than lip-service to health: I don't eat chips or pre-prepared food, and it might be a comedy sacrilege to admit I do like vegetables, fruit and salad and stuff.

Jo Brand

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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
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Fruit
Might
Service
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Prepared
Sacrilege
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Salad
Health
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Vegetables
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More quotes by Jo Brand

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I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully.
Jo Brand
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There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics it's something to do with the social structure of society.
Jo Brand
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I think I'd concentrate on young women - particularly girls at school - and I would try and build into school curriculums much more education about relationships and how girls (and boys) can handle them: stuff about consent and that sort of thing.
Jo Brand
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Most of us manage the fateful things that happen in our lives the best we can, certainly not to a Stalin-like 20-year plan.
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An overweight guy went to the doctor who advised him to try a keep fit DVD. But the guy said he couldn't be bothered. “Well” suggested the doctor, “try something that leaves you a little short of breath.” So the buy took up smoking.
Jo Brand
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There's still this underlying image of women that they should fulfil a certain role. It's no accident that a lot of men who are a bit misogynistic tend to say things like 'get back to the kitchen' or 'why aren't you at home looking after the kids'.
Jo Brand
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I just don't like travelling very much.
Jo Brand
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They say revenge is a dish best eaten cold, but for most people, by the time it's ready to eat, they just don't fancy it any more.
Jo Brand
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Let's face it: I am not a professional runner.
Jo Brand
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I like to shock people.
Jo Brand
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One thing lots of Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug. This winds lots of people up, particularly because famous Christians pronounce on the life of the poor from their very lovely affluent homes filled with their very lovely families and attractive pets.
Jo Brand
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I like reading, I like boring things, and yet I think people for ages had this image of me that I was on the tube with a chainsaw looking for any likely candidate.
Jo Brand
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I'd love to live in Kent but it's all a question of work.
Jo Brand
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I think some people ramp a side of themselves up for performance purposes.
Jo Brand
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School was great. There were no boys there, which didn't really bother me at the time because I had two brothers, so I was quite pleased not to spend any more time with boys.
Jo Brand
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I think my comedy, the put-downs I do to hecklers, are the accumulated bitterness of years of people feeling that it's perfectly acceptable to make a comment on your appearance when they don't even know you.
Jo Brand
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There's something people do to you when they bully you that makes you feel like you're on your own. But don't keep things inside, it's really damaging if you do.
Jo Brand
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My mum taught me to knit when I was a child, and I turn to it, for some weird reason, when I'm feeling depressed.
Jo Brand
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I'm too nervous to eat before I go onstage, and I'll usually eat out after the performance or when I get home at midnight.
Jo Brand
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Anybody who has had the pleasure of reading an article about themselves in the press, knows that on the whole, there is a huge amount of inaccuracy, value judgment and the use of a crowbar to insert editorial bias that reflects the current political leaning of that particular paper.
Jo Brand