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I often tell audiences at the start of my shows that I'm not gay because I've got petitions from lesbian groups saying 'Can you tell people you're heterosexual because you're giving us a bad name.'

Jo Brand

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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
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Heterosexual
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Lesbian
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I don't like doing stand-up, because I don't like standing up.
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When I got married, the Sun ran the headline: Here comes the bride, all fat and wide. Luckily, it was a few days after the wedding - but it was still hideous to read at a great romantic moment.
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I used to get a lot of people saying 'Oh, you are such a lucky granny.' But the fact of the matter is you can be a grandma at 35 these days.
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I think a lot of women are incredibly tough and they're just really admirable. Especially the way that, given what they've got, they just manage to carry on.
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My preference is swimming in the sea. I find the sea is more liberating, wild and good fun rather than plodding up and down a pool.
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The funny thing is, I don't actually think of myself as fat at all. I don't think I am. Not really.
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I like to shock people.
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You know it's time for a New Year's resolution to lose weight when you step on a talking scale and it says, One at a time, please.
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I think some people ramp a side of themselves up for performance purposes.
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My mum taught me to knit when I was a child, and I turn to it, for some weird reason, when I'm feeling depressed.
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I'm not a flag waver for obesity. It's not healthy, and you have a crap life because there is such a downer on it.
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Usually, what people in the public eye do is pick two charities and just exclusively work for them. But that means you have to turn people down all the time, so I try and do something for everyone that asks me, at least once.
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Everything becomes magnified at night. Sounds travel in a different way, it's dark, and everything seems far more spooky.
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Television provokes strong opinions, and sometimes we try a bit too hard to appeal to everyone.
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In the end, punk inevitably burned itself out and acted as a bridge across which the New Romantics could sashay in their chiffon and glossy hair.
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