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By crying on my bed, drinking quite a lot and feeling tempted by drugs. Well, just not reading it to be perfectly honest with you. I know it's a bit of a copout.

Jo Brand

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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
Feelings
Drinking
Wells
Cry
Well
Drug
Honest
Tempted
Bits
Crying
Quite
Perfectly
Feeling
Drugs
Reading
Bed

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Fat people are brilliant in bed. If I'm sitting on top of you, who's going to argue?
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My mum always felt that women deserved as much as men, and should have as much power, so I suppose I opted to go into a very male-dominated arena to try and prove that.
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I don't like doing stand-up, because I don't like standing up.
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I must be an anorexic because an anorexic looks in the mirror and sees a fat person.
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It is unrealistic to expect an entire profession to be completely good. There are bound to be some individuals who are stressed, who are unkind, who are a bit rubbish at their job, who are in the wrong career.
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I thought I was funny as a kid.
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I like the purity of stand-up because it is all about whether people laugh at your jokes. Either they laugh or they don't.
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Even when I wasn't overweight I was never one of those girls or women who wanted to look nice. I always thought it wasn't important.
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When I was a nurse I never had much money, and I was still happy then.
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Over the years I attempted to make my style a bit more relaxed 'cause the initial style you couldn't watch for more than ten minutes without wanting to kill me.
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Not many women will go out on a limb to make themselves really unattractive and unfeminine so you can get the laughs, but it's a great thing to do in my book.
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Having children is fab. They keep me young and make me get up in the morning.
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People are so different in reality from the picture created of them on TV. So it's all a creation everything is made up.
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I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways.
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Regular panelists on shows can be terrifying. They own that space, and many guest comics suspect they are favoured in the edit, while their own hilarious jokes end up being ejected into the ether.
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When I got married, the Sun ran the headline: Here comes the bride, all fat and wide. Luckily, it was a few days after the wedding - but it was still hideous to read at a great romantic moment.
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And I also felt that no one in an audience could abuse me worse than the sort of abuse I had had at work as a psychiatric nurse.
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I don't hold any candle for drama versus comedy.
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Occasionally, some sitcoms still stereotype women - the old dragon or the dolly bird - but on the whole we've moved away from that.
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I like to shock people.
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