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People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare.

Jo Brand

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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
Make
Bitter
People
Criticism
Read
Makes
Doesn
Persons
Showbiz
Person
Bitterness
Better
Nightmare

More quotes by Jo Brand

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How do you conduct an intimate relationship where no one ever loses it? Where no one ever lashes out, where no one ever smacks anyone in the mouth?
Jo Brand
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I was always being called upon to be an honorary boy alongside my brothers. I don't think I'd be a comic now if it hadn't been for that.
Jo Brand
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I'm just trying to spread the word and upturn the myth that actually you should be resting after cancer treatment. You shouldn't you should be getting out and doing any kind of exercise you can. You don't have to run a marathon, but you just have to up your activity levels.
Jo Brand
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I have such admiration for single mothers. I simply don't comprehend how you'd cope with that intensity, the lack of breaks, ever, on your own.
Jo Brand
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I tend to think the world is a bit of a miserable place, so anyone who can add to people's optimistic, cheerful side is doing a good job, which is what I hope I'm doing.
Jo Brand
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I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully.
Jo Brand
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Being Christian towards poor people means trying to improve their lives and give them back some self-respect.
Jo Brand
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Having done a normal job for 10 years, as a psychiatric nurse dealing with emergencies, I know what terrible, hopeless lives some people have. So in many ways, it's great to be able to wield the financial power that I can, and do gigs, fundraisers or give money. I feel lucky I can help out.
Jo Brand
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So, my style has hopefully changed over the years and it is more relaxed, and I do tend to smile and have more than one expression these days hopefully - which I didn't at the beginning.
Jo Brand
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I often tell audiences at the start of my shows that I'm not gay because I've got petitions from lesbian groups saying 'Can you tell people you're heterosexual because you're giving us a bad name.'
Jo Brand
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There are problems with nursing - such as the issue of nurses all having to do degrees these days. But that doesn’t mean to say the entire infrastructure of nursing is falling about and that it is populated by unfeeling psychopaths, which is, frankly, the implication sometimes.
Jo Brand
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Most of us manage the fateful things that happen in our lives the best we can, certainly not to a Stalin-like 20-year plan.
Jo Brand
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Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female.
Jo Brand
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There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics it's something to do with the social structure of society.
Jo Brand
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I like reading, I like boring things, and yet I think people for ages had this image of me that I was on the tube with a chainsaw looking for any likely candidate.
Jo Brand
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You know it's time for a New Year's resolution to lose weight when you step on a talking scale and it says, One at a time, please.
Jo Brand
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I swam at school a lot. Long-distance swimming in pools, and diving, then when we moved to Hastings when I was 13 I used to swim in the sea all the time I loved it out of season and when it was rough.
Jo Brand
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I don't like doing stand-up, because I don't like standing up.
Jo Brand
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When you get to know someone, you find there's something nasty in their woodshed.
Jo Brand
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One thing Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug.
Jo Brand