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I like to shock people.

Jo Brand

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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
Shock
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People

More quotes by Jo Brand

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I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways.
Jo Brand
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Usually, what people in the public eye do is pick two charities and just exclusively work for them. But that means you have to turn people down all the time, so I try and do something for everyone that asks me, at least once.
Jo Brand
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Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female.
Jo Brand
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I have two brothers and we basically spent our lives playing in the woods, falling in ponds, getting chased by wasps and riding donkeys that we shouldn't have been riding.
Jo Brand
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I've never, ever had people being aggressive to me in public or abusing me, and actually quite a lot of men do say to me, 'You're quite good' - though they can't bear to go, 'You're great.'
Jo Brand
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I made a supreme effort not to do that thing that parents do, which is to bore people without children to death by going on and on about how funny their children are, so there's none of that hopefully.
Jo Brand
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When I got married, the Sun ran the headline: Here comes the bride, all fat and wide. Luckily, it was a few days after the wedding - but it was still hideous to read at a great romantic moment.
Jo Brand
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I have such admiration for single mothers. I simply don't comprehend how you'd cope with that intensity, the lack of breaks, ever, on your own.
Jo Brand
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And I also felt that no one in an audience could abuse me worse than the sort of abuse I had had at work as a psychiatric nurse.
Jo Brand
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My mum and my husband are from Irish backgrounds so we have a lot of potatoes. Chips, mashed, boiled, new potatoes, I love them all. Even the slightly wanky ones like Duchess potatoes that go up in a little spiral.
Jo Brand
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Most of us manage the fateful things that happen in our lives the best we can, certainly not to a Stalin-like 20-year plan.
Jo Brand
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It is unrealistic to expect an entire profession to be completely good. There are bound to be some individuals who are stressed, who are unkind, who are a bit rubbish at their job, who are in the wrong career.
Jo Brand
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I took my husband to the hospital yesterday to have 17 stitches out - that'll teach him to buy me a sewing kit for my birthday.
Jo Brand
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When I was a nurse I never had much money, and I was still happy then.
Jo Brand
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Having done a normal job for 10 years, as a psychiatric nurse dealing with emergencies, I know what terrible, hopeless lives some people have. So in many ways, it's great to be able to wield the financial power that I can, and do gigs, fundraisers or give money. I feel lucky I can help out.
Jo Brand
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I remember when Victoria Wood started to come through, and I thought she was great, though she and I are very different in our approach.
Jo Brand
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I'm too nervous to eat before I go onstage, and I'll usually eat out after the performance or when I get home at midnight.
Jo Brand
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I thought I was funny as a kid.
Jo Brand
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How do you conduct an intimate relationship where no one ever loses it? Where no one ever lashes out, where no one ever smacks anyone in the mouth?
Jo Brand
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The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.
Jo Brand