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I don't like doing stand-up, because I don't like standing up.

Jo Brand

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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
Standing
Stand
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More quotes by Jo Brand

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I tend to think the world is a bit of a miserable place, so anyone who can add to people's optimistic, cheerful side is doing a good job, which is what I hope I'm doing.
Jo Brand
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It is unrealistic to expect an entire profession to be completely good. There are bound to be some individuals who are stressed, who are unkind, who are a bit rubbish at their job, who are in the wrong career.
Jo Brand
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An overweight guy went to the doctor who advised him to try a keep fit DVD. But the guy said he couldn't be bothered. “Well” suggested the doctor, “try something that leaves you a little short of breath.” So the buy took up smoking.
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My mum taught me to knit when I was a child, and I turn to it, for some weird reason, when I'm feeling depressed.
Jo Brand
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I'm a real Kentish maid, you know.
Jo Brand
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I buy smoked mackerel in a vain attempt at being healthy. I do actually really like it, and you don't have to cook it, which is handy.
Jo Brand
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Occasionally, some sitcoms still stereotype women - the old dragon or the dolly bird - but on the whole we've moved away from that.
Jo Brand
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So, my style has hopefully changed over the years and it is more relaxed, and I do tend to smile and have more than one expression these days hopefully - which I didn't at the beginning.
Jo Brand
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I like to shock people.
Jo Brand
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I think there's a far more general audience now because I've done more populist stuff on telly.
Jo Brand
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I must be an anorexic because an anorexic looks in the mirror and sees a fat person.
Jo Brand
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I think some people ramp a side of themselves up for performance purposes.
Jo Brand
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By crying on my bed, drinking quite a lot and feeling tempted by drugs. Well, just not reading it to be perfectly honest with you. I know it's a bit of a copout.
Jo Brand
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One thing Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug.
Jo Brand
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Men are fantastic - as a concept.
Jo Brand
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I pay a bit more than lip-service to health: I don't eat chips or pre-prepared food, and it might be a comedy sacrilege to admit I do like vegetables, fruit and salad and stuff.
Jo Brand
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People can forgive each other.
Jo Brand
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Privatisation splits hospital services into increasingly small packages.
Jo Brand
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I went on the pill when I was 16, put on four stone... so that proved to be a very effective contraceptive.
Jo Brand
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With two small children, I haven't had a wash since 2001 so the chance to go shopping is way down the list. It is something I do intend to get.
Jo Brand