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I believe that if your brain has to get to grips with complicated words, then you won't get Alzheimer's. I'm sure it's not true, but I do believe it.
Jo Brand
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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
Grips
Alzheimer
Complicated
Brain
Sure
Words
True
Believe
More quotes by Jo Brand
I swam at school a lot. Long-distance swimming in pools, and diving, then when we moved to Hastings when I was 13 I used to swim in the sea all the time I loved it out of season and when it was rough.
Jo Brand
One of the guys that used to run it - for some reason I've no idea why he used to call me the Sea Monster and I was just looking around for a name and thought that'll do. That lasted for a couple of years probably.
Jo Brand
One thing Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug.
Jo Brand
I like men. They are hugely entertaining, but they have a lot of shortcomings and you just have to bear those in mind.
Jo Brand
Wild men are so enormously attractive.
Jo Brand
My preference is swimming in the sea. I find the sea is more liberating, wild and good fun rather than plodding up and down a pool.
Jo Brand
I like reading, I like boring things, and yet I think people for ages had this image of me that I was on the tube with a chainsaw looking for any likely candidate.
Jo Brand
Not many women will go out on a limb to make themselves really unattractive and unfeminine so you can get the laughs, but it's a great thing to do in my book.
Jo Brand
They say revenge is a dish best eaten cold, but for most people, by the time it's ready to eat, they just don't fancy it any more.
Jo Brand
I love everything about books. I love the content, the way they look and even the lovely way they smell. I think a book collection says something about you as a person, and certainly my books are something I'd want to pass on for future generations.
Jo Brand
There's something people do to you when they bully you that makes you feel like you're on your own. But don't keep things inside, it's really damaging if you do.
Jo Brand
My mum and my husband are from Irish backgrounds so we have a lot of potatoes. Chips, mashed, boiled, new potatoes, I love them all. Even the slightly wanky ones like Duchess potatoes that go up in a little spiral.
Jo Brand
I tried to eat better too, but when you're on tour you literally just eat some hideous pork pie on the motorway on the way to a show. It's a really unhealthy lifestyle: you're up late, drinking loads of coffee to stay awake, drinking loads of alcohol because you're socialising with people.
Jo Brand
I went on the pill when I was 16, put on four stone... so that proved to be a very effective contraceptive.
Jo Brand
I'm a real Kentish maid, you know.
Jo Brand
You know it's time for a New Year's resolution to lose weight when you step on a talking scale and it says, One at a time, please.
Jo Brand
I often tell audiences at the start of my shows that I'm not gay because I've got petitions from lesbian groups saying 'Can you tell people you're heterosexual because you're giving us a bad name.'
Jo Brand
There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics it's something to do with the social structure of society.
Jo Brand
I tend to think the world is a bit of a miserable place, so anyone who can add to people's optimistic, cheerful side is doing a good job, which is what I hope I'm doing.
Jo Brand
How do you conduct an intimate relationship where no one ever loses it? Where no one ever lashes out, where no one ever smacks anyone in the mouth?
Jo Brand