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When you get to know someone, you find there's something nasty in their woodshed.

Jo Brand

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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
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Woodshed
Nasty
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More quotes by Jo Brand

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Everything becomes magnified at night. Sounds travel in a different way, it's dark, and everything seems far more spooky.
Jo Brand
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I think some people ramp a side of themselves up for performance purposes.
Jo Brand
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There are two types of people in this world: one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go.
Jo Brand
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There's something people do to you when they bully you that makes you feel like you're on your own. But don't keep things inside, it's really damaging if you do.
Jo Brand
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I have such admiration for single mothers. I simply don't comprehend how you'd cope with that intensity, the lack of breaks, ever, on your own.
Jo Brand
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Wild men are so enormously attractive.
Jo Brand
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I'm too nervous to eat before I go onstage, and I'll usually eat out after the performance or when I get home at midnight.
Jo Brand
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Punk allowed women to stop looking feminine. Oh, the relief.
Jo Brand
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Some men are deeply likable but have attitudes I don't like. Does that mean I should completely dismiss them? It's like saying: if someone votes Tory can you like them? And, yes, I can. I have friends who vote Tory, and I'm appalled, but that's not to say they're not great people in so many other ways. We have a tendency to oversimplify things.
Jo Brand
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Having done a normal job for 10 years, as a psychiatric nurse dealing with emergencies, I know what terrible, hopeless lives some people have. So in many ways, it's great to be able to wield the financial power that I can, and do gigs, fundraisers or give money. I feel lucky I can help out.
Jo Brand
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Inside every fat person there's a thin person looking to get out - They've just eaten them.
Jo Brand
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I just don't like travelling very much.
Jo Brand
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I tend to think the world is a bit of a miserable place, so anyone who can add to people's optimistic, cheerful side is doing a good job, which is what I hope I'm doing.
Jo Brand
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Having children is fab. They keep me young and make me get up in the morning.
Jo Brand
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One of the guys that used to run it - for some reason I've no idea why he used to call me the Sea Monster and I was just looking around for a name and thought that'll do. That lasted for a couple of years probably.
Jo Brand
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I don't like doing stand-up, because I don't like standing up.
Jo Brand
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It's actually very hard when you're settled in one place to completely uproot yourself and go.
Jo Brand
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My mum always felt that women deserved as much as men, and should have as much power, so I suppose I opted to go into a very male-dominated arena to try and prove that.
Jo Brand
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My mum and my husband are from Irish backgrounds so we have a lot of potatoes. Chips, mashed, boiled, new potatoes, I love them all. Even the slightly wanky ones like Duchess potatoes that go up in a little spiral.
Jo Brand
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When I got married, the Sun ran the headline: Here comes the bride, all fat and wide. Luckily, it was a few days after the wedding - but it was still hideous to read at a great romantic moment.
Jo Brand