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They say revenge is a dish best eaten cold, but for most people, by the time it's ready to eat, they just don't fancy it any more.

Jo Brand

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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
Cold
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Time
Dish
People
Eaten
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Revenge
Fancy

More quotes by Jo Brand

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The funny thing is, I don't actually think of myself as fat at all. I don't think I am. Not really.
Jo Brand
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I like men. They are hugely entertaining, but they have a lot of shortcomings and you just have to bear those in mind.
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Being Christian towards poor people means trying to improve their lives and give them back some self-respect.
Jo Brand
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I pay a bit more than lip-service to health: I don't eat chips or pre-prepared food, and it might be a comedy sacrilege to admit I do like vegetables, fruit and salad and stuff.
Jo Brand
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One thing lots of Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug. This winds lots of people up, particularly because famous Christians pronounce on the life of the poor from their very lovely affluent homes filled with their very lovely families and attractive pets.
Jo Brand
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Privatisation splits hospital services into increasingly small packages.
Jo Brand
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I often tell audiences at the start of my shows that I'm not gay because I've got petitions from lesbian groups saying 'Can you tell people you're heterosexual because you're giving us a bad name.'
Jo Brand
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No one I know is actually so rude as to tell me I've become duller since having children. But I'm sure they think it.
Jo Brand
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My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn't know he was in a coma.
Jo Brand
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People are so different in reality from the picture created of them on TV. So it's all a creation everything is made up.
Jo Brand
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I have such admiration for single mothers. I simply don't comprehend how you'd cope with that intensity, the lack of breaks, ever, on your own.
Jo Brand
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I tend to think the world is a bit of a miserable place, so anyone who can add to people's optimistic, cheerful side is doing a good job, which is what I hope I'm doing.
Jo Brand
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I love everything about books. I love the content, the way they look and even the lovely way they smell. I think a book collection says something about you as a person, and certainly my books are something I'd want to pass on for future generations.
Jo Brand
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I don't hold any candle for drama versus comedy.
Jo Brand
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On the whole, you can have a private life and be famous. But when milestones happen in your life like having children or getting married, privacy goes out of the window.
Jo Brand
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There are two types of people in this world: one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go.
Jo Brand
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An overweight guy went to the doctor who advised him to try a keep fit DVD. But the guy said he couldn't be bothered. “Well” suggested the doctor, “try something that leaves you a little short of breath.” So the buy took up smoking.
Jo Brand
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I like reading, I like boring things, and yet I think people for ages had this image of me that I was on the tube with a chainsaw looking for any likely candidate.
Jo Brand
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I'd love to live in Kent but it's all a question of work.
Jo Brand
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My mum taught me to knit when I was a child, and I turn to it, for some weird reason, when I'm feeling depressed.
Jo Brand