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They say revenge is a dish best eaten cold, but for most people, by the time it's ready to eat, they just don't fancy it any more.

Jo Brand

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Jo Brand
Age: 67
Born: 1957
Born: May 3
Actor
Actress
Autobiographer
Comedian
Novelist
Nurse
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Presenter
Wandsworth Town
Josephine Grace Brand
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More quotes by Jo Brand

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I'd love to live in Kent but it's all a question of work.
Jo Brand
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I like men. They are hugely entertaining, but they have a lot of shortcomings and you just have to bear those in mind.
Jo Brand
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There are two types of people in this world: one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go.
Jo Brand
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When I got married, the Sun ran the headline: Here comes the bride, all fat and wide. Luckily, it was a few days after the wedding - but it was still hideous to read at a great romantic moment.
Jo Brand
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Having children is fab. They keep me young and make me get up in the morning.
Jo Brand
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Let's face it: I am not a professional runner.
Jo Brand
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I'm too nervous to eat before I go onstage, and I'll usually eat out after the performance or when I get home at midnight.
Jo Brand
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When you get to know someone, you find there's something nasty in their woodshed.
Jo Brand
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I'm a Luddite with computers, and I'm slightly worried about being hacked as well.
Jo Brand
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I just don't like travelling very much.
Jo Brand
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I'm just trying to spread the word and upturn the myth that actually you should be resting after cancer treatment. You shouldn't you should be getting out and doing any kind of exercise you can. You don't have to run a marathon, but you just have to up your activity levels.
Jo Brand
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Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female.
Jo Brand
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I must be an anorexic because an anorexic looks in the mirror and sees a fat person.
Jo Brand
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One thing Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug.
Jo Brand
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Over the years I attempted to make my style a bit more relaxed 'cause the initial style you couldn't watch for more than ten minutes without wanting to kill me.
Jo Brand
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I think there's a far more general audience now because I've done more populist stuff on telly.
Jo Brand
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I pay a bit more than lip-service to health: I don't eat chips or pre-prepared food, and it might be a comedy sacrilege to admit I do like vegetables, fruit and salad and stuff.
Jo Brand
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I think I'd concentrate on young women - particularly girls at school - and I would try and build into school curriculums much more education about relationships and how girls (and boys) can handle them: stuff about consent and that sort of thing.
Jo Brand
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Even when I wasn't overweight I was never one of those girls or women who wanted to look nice. I always thought it wasn't important.
Jo Brand
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As the Tories know, the problem with setting yourself up as a shining example for others to follow is that when you get caught out, that proverbial substance really hits the fan.
Jo Brand