Probably the best thing that happened to me was going nuts. Nobody knew who I was until that happened.

Nutrition makes me puke.

I feel great. I had a triple bypass in 1976 and a quadruple bypass in 1984.

There is no better therapy than understanding.

Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.

I'm the gooney bird that walked to the bank. I'm doing better than most of those guys who said I was crazy.

I asked my doctor how many more years I have left and he said, 'You're too ornery to die.