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President Obama said that over 40 countries have offered to help the U.S. fight ISIS. Of course they said it the same way your friends do when they promise to help you move. 'Yeah just call me, you know, if I'm around. It'll be fun.'
Jimmy Fallon
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Jimmy Fallon
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: September 19
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Brooklyn
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James Thomas Fallon
James Thomas Jimmy Fallon
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James Fallon
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More quotes by Jimmy Fallon
MSNBC host Lawrence O'Donnell is saying Donald Trump lied when he said he made $20 million a year off his 'Apprentice' series on NBC. NBC also denied Trump's claim, saying, 'We don't have $20 million. We're NBC.'
Jimmy Fallon
One GOP Congressman named Carlos Curbelo actually suggested that Donald Trump may be a 'phantom candidate' that has been planted by Democrats. The DNC strongly denied this - while Hillary said, 'Crap, they figured it out! Take off the wig, Bill.'
Jimmy Fallon
Success is just happiness. When you are happy, that is success.
Jimmy Fallon
When you have a baby, sleep is not an option. You can't sleep. Even on vacation, you wake up at 6:30 a.m.
Jimmy Fallon
Newt Gingrich plans to announce his campaign for president this Wednesday. I don’t know about his chances. I mean, I’m not saying Gingrich peaked in the ‘90s, but his campaign is being sponsored by Tamagotchis and Crystal Pepsi.
Jimmy Fallon
Researches tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn't get the user high, prompting patients who need medical marijuana to declare, 'Thank you?'
Jimmy Fallon
When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes ballon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must be.
Jimmy Fallon
The White House encouraged Tom Brady to be more of a role model. They would've said more, but there was a drunken Secret Service agent streaking across the Rose Garden.
Jimmy Fallon
It was announced today that Iran has reached a deal with the U.S. to limit its nuclear program and send most of its uranium to Russia. Then Americans said, 'That's great! Wait, WHAT?'
Jimmy Fallon
Jeb Bush is facing criticism after it was just revealed that he checked off his race as 'Hispanic' on a voter registration form back in 2009. When asked if he regrets it now, Bush said, 'Si.'
Jimmy Fallon
The Department of Agriculture announced that it will ban six new strains of E. coli. Which explains why the hot dog vendor outside my building is now just selling napkins.
Jimmy Fallon
My dream was to grow up and get a job at IBM, like my dad. That seemed like a logical dream.
Jimmy Fallon
There's always going to be someone out there... who doesn't believe in you or who thinks your head is too big or you're not smart enough. But those are the people you need to ignore, and those are the times you need to just keep doing what you love doing.
Jimmy Fallon
The White House is worried about Joe Biden's potential run for president, and a source says they fear that it wouldn't have the right outcome. That's right, they think he might win.
Jimmy Fallon
I like living with myself. I mean obviously, because here I am interviewing myself.
Jimmy Fallon
The U.S. is re-establishing relations with Cuba. But before President Obama can lift the embargo, it will need approval from the Republican-controlled Congress - or as Republicans who called Obama said, 'Close, but no cigar.'
Jimmy Fallon
It's Friday. That's one reason to celebrate. Also, it's the first day in a long time when no one declared they're running for president.
Jimmy Fallon
Today is Earth Day. Environmentalists spent the day drawing attention to the Earth, while the Earth just spent the day checking Facebook to see which planets wished it a happy Earth Day.
Jimmy Fallon
A political action committee trying to raise money for a 2016 Hillary Clinton campaign is selling “Ready for Hillary” champagne glasses and Christmas ornaments. Because if one thing improves the holidays, it's drinking mixed with politics.
Jimmy Fallon
Researchers in the U.K. have developed a vegetable called super broccoli designed to fight heart disease. Not to be outdone, researchers in America have developed a way to stuff an Oreo inside another Oreo.
Jimmy Fallon