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A new survey found that 12 percent of parents punish their kids by banning social networking sites. The other 88 percent punish their kids by joining social networking sites.
Jimmy Fallon
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Jimmy Fallon
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: September 19
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
James Thomas Fallon
James Thomas Jimmy Fallon
James Thoms Fallon
James Fallon
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More quotes by Jimmy Fallon
Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason.
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Rand Paul is officially running for president. He even revealed his campaign slogan, which is 'Defeat the Washington machine. Unleash the American dream.' It's hard to tell if he's running for president or doing an infomercial for Bowflex.
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L.A., its nice, but I think of sunshine and people on rollerblades eating sushi. New York, I think of nighttime, I think of Times Square and Broadway and nightlife and the city that never sleeps.
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I like living with myself. I mean obviously, because here I am interviewing myself.
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Success is just happiness. When you are happy, that is success.
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In a two-hour interview last Friday, Bruce Jenner told ABC's Diane Sawyer, 'For all intents and purposes, I'm a woman.' At which point, Joe Biden ran in and started giving Bruce a shoulder rub.
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In a recent attack ad, the NRA claims that President Obama cares about his own children more than he cares about other children. In response, President Obama was like, 'Yeah, that's how families work.'
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I'm on so late I'm definitely the last seconds of anyone's attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, 'That's funny,' then fall asleep.
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It was the 60th anniversary of 'Face the Nation.' During his interview, President Obama said, 'Our country doesn't fear the future. We grab it.' Nothing says you grab the future like going on a 60-year-old show hosted by a 77-year-old-man to speak to a 90-year-old audience.
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If you're going to do a Chris Christie joke, just say, 'Christie spent $82,000 at a concession stand at MetLife Stadium. Then he turned to his friends and said, 'You guys want anything?'' That's a joke. I can't believe it. I caved in. I feel awful.
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Officials at the London Olympics will be conducting 5,000 tests for steroids. Or as Lance Armstrong calls that, 'a Monday.'
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I saw that on Small Business Saturday, the president went shopping at a bookstore and bought 17 books, including The Laughing Monsters, Being Mortal, and Heart of Darkness. Or as the cashier put it, You OK, man? Maybe a little 'Chicken Soup for the Presidential Soul?'
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The Illinois Senate passed a bill on Wednesday to legalize medical marijuana. The bill was passed after the state senator said, 'Come on, dude, pass it. Come on.'
Jimmy Fallon
I read that as marijuana legalization becomes more popular, it could affect the jobs of drug-sniffing dogs. Or as those dogs put it, 'Thanks, Bo Obama.'
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The White House is apparently pushing to create more Latino-themed landmarks. Now that's in addition to our current Latino-themed landmark, California.
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President Obama just made his first presidential trip to the state of Utah. Obama spent his time in Utah just like you'd expect - telling people, 'Uh, no, I don't play for the Jazz.'
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Republicans in Congress are getting concerned that President Obama will try to use the final year of his term to push through too many controversial laws. Obama would've responded but he was busy drafting his new 'mandatory Mexican gay weed' bill.
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In an interview last night, Rick Perry criticized Mitt Romney for flip-flopping on the issues. Romney said that Perry has no idea what he's talking about. Then he added, 'But he does know what he's talking about.'
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Over on the Democratic side, Martin O'Malley recently spoke about the need for Wall Street reform and said that he isn't running for president to be quote, 'wined and dined' by executives. Then Chris Christie said, 'And I am also not running to be wined.'
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Today is the midterm elections. The Washington Post is predicting that there's a 98 percent chance of the Republicans taking the Senate and The New York Times says there's a 75 percent chance. And CNN said, 'Wait, that's today?'
Jimmy Fallon