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Big news from last night's Republican debate, you guys. It turns out George Bush was actually the smart Texas governor.
Jimmy Fallon
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Jimmy Fallon
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: September 19
Actor
Comedian
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Television Host
Television Presenter
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Brooklyn
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James Thomas Fallon
James Thomas Jimmy Fallon
James Thoms Fallon
James Fallon
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More quotes by Jimmy Fallon
Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience - is to amplify what we think America is thinking.
Jimmy Fallon
Time magazine interviewed Bill Clinton about the current presidential campaign, and he claimed he had to ask Hillary to marry him three times before she said yes. Then Hillary was like, 'Yeah. That wasn't me.'
Jimmy Fallon
In several speeches and interviews, Donald Trump has brought up his book 'The Art of the Deal,' and said that Obama would have negotiated a better deal with Iran if he had read it. It got even more awkward for Obama when Iran was like, 'It worked for us - you guys got screwed!'
Jimmy Fallon
One GOP Congressman named Carlos Curbelo actually suggested that Donald Trump may be a 'phantom candidate' that has been planted by Democrats. The DNC strongly denied this - while Hillary said, 'Crap, they figured it out! Take off the wig, Bill.'
Jimmy Fallon
A new poll also shows that a majority of people in Colorado think Hillary Clinton is not trustworthy. Although, that's not saying much coming from the most paranoid state in America. 'Hillary Clinton? She's a cop?'
Jimmy Fallon
A girl in New York whose parents were on Wife Swap is suing the show for 100-million dollars for making her look like a spoiled brat. Note to girl: guess what else makes you look like a spoiled brat? Being 15 and suing for a hundred million dollars.
Jimmy Fallon
This weekend the Conservative Political Action Conference, CPAC, featured several speakers including Sarah Palin and Phil Robertson from 'Duck Dynasty.' It was a good weekend for conservatives - and a great weekend for wild animals.
Jimmy Fallon
While he was in Utah, Obama discussed immigration reform with leaders of the Mormon Church. Obama introduced the first lady. Then the church's president introduced HIS first lady. And his second lady. And his third, fourth, and fifth ladies.
Jimmy Fallon
I can't believe there are so many people who aren't us.
Jimmy Fallon
I can watch an episode of Jerry Seinfeld, and by the end, I'm just walking around my house, you know, talking like Jerry Seinfeld. 'What is that? What are you doing? Who is it? What's going' - you know, I just had that thing, when I grew up, I'd just start talking like people. You know, I always had that.
Jimmy Fallon
I never sing in the shower. It's very dangerous.
Jimmy Fallon
Disney World is celebrating its 40th birthday! You can tell the characters are getting old. In addition to Snow White's seven dwarfs, she now has 25 cats.
Jimmy Fallon
Yesterday, the White House confirmed that President Obama will meet with Pope Francis during his visit in September. Some experts are wondering if they'll discuss their disagreement over contraception. Then Joe Biden said, 'I didn't even know they were dating.'
Jimmy Fallon
President Obama said that over 40 countries have offered to help the U.S. fight ISIS. Of course they said it the same way your friends do when they promise to help you move. 'Yeah just call me, you know, if I'm around. It'll be fun.'
Jimmy Fallon
President Obama has reduced the sentences of 22 federal prisoners who were arrested for drug-related crimes - eight of whom were serving life sentences. It marks the first time someone has said 'Thanks Obama' but actually meant it.
Jimmy Fallon
A new survey found that 12 percent of parents punish their kids by banning social networking sites. The other 88 percent punish their kids by joining social networking sites.
Jimmy Fallon
Over on the Democratic side, Martin O'Malley recently spoke about the need for Wall Street reform and said that he isn't running for president to be quote, 'wined and dined' by executives. Then Chris Christie said, 'And I am also not running to be wined.'
Jimmy Fallon
The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.
Jimmy Fallon
Whenever I'm stuck in traffic, I can't help but wonder, 'Where did the creator of The Jetsons go, and why hasn't he done something about this?'
Jimmy Fallon
According to a new report, since he's been governor, Chris Christie has spent $82,000 at a concession stand at MetLife Stadium. Now, I know it seems like the perfect story for a Chris Christie joke but I'm actually on a Chris Christie joke diet. So nothing for me, thanks.
Jimmy Fallon
