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I can't believe there are so many people who aren't us.

Jimmy Fallon

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Jimmy Fallon
Age: 50
Born: 1974
Born: September 19
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Singer
Television Actor
Television Host
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Brooklyn
New York
James Thomas Fallon
James Thomas Jimmy Fallon
James Thoms Fallon
James Fallon
Aren
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If you're going to do a Chris Christie joke, just say, 'Christie spent $82,000 at a concession stand at MetLife Stadium. Then he turned to his friends and said, 'You guys want anything?'' That's a joke. I can't believe it. I caved in. I feel awful.
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I think you just look for the person you have the most fun with. And that's enough. You realize, Wait, I can just keep having fun with her forever? Yes, you can do that. That is the key.
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Donald Trump announced that he's running for president. During his speech he told the crowd that if elected he would be 'the greatest jobs president that God ever created.' Then God said, 'Hey, don't drag me into this publicity stunt.'
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After President Obama announced his support for net neutrality yesterday, Texas Senator Ted Cruz tweeted that 'Net neutrality is Obamacare for the Internet.' While Ted Cruz continues to be the Taylor Swift of not getting over Obamacare.
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Big news from last night's Republican debate, you guys. It turns out George Bush was actually the smart Texas governor.
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You only think of the best comeback when you leave.
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The White House encouraged Tom Brady to be more of a role model. They would've said more, but there was a drunken Secret Service agent streaking across the Rose Garden.
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Even the White House is weighing in on the deflate-gate scandal. Yesterday they encouraged Tom Brady to 'be mindful of the way he serves as a role model.' And then President Obama stuffed out his cigarette and went golfing at noon on a weekday.
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Sources say the Obama administration is in the 'final stages' of planning the closing of Guantanamo Bay. The way it's gonna work is, they're going to put a Radio Shack sign out front and let nature take its course.
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Former New York Governor George Pataki may enter the race for president. It's not definite, but he tweeted that he'll announce his 2016 plans on May 28 in New Hampshire. Well, what's he gonna do, go to New Hampshire to say he's NOT running? That's like getting down on one knee and saying, 'I think it's time to see other people.'
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I remember watching Soulja Boy on YouTube over and over again to prepare for it. For the first one, I was up all night in my kitchen, practicing the dance, because I knew I had to dance with Timberlake and that guy can dance.
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It was the 60th anniversary of 'Face the Nation.' During his interview, President Obama said, 'Our country doesn't fear the future. We grab it.' Nothing says you grab the future like going on a 60-year-old show hosted by a 77-year-old-man to speak to a 90-year-old audience.
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Rachel Dolezal stepped down from her position as president of an NAACP chapter after it was revealed that she was a white woman pretending to be black. Now her brother says he knew about it but she asked him not to blow her cover. Unfortunately, her cover had already been blown by God when he made her a blond-haired, blue-eyed white lady.
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President Obama said that over 40 countries have offered to help the U.S. fight ISIS. Of course they said it the same way your friends do when they promise to help you move. 'Yeah just call me, you know, if I'm around. It'll be fun.'
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Nissan is recalling almost 135,000 Infiniti G35s to address an airbag problem. When Toyota heard that, they said, 'Airbags! I knew we forgot something.'
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Barnes & Noble CEO William Lynch just announced that he is stepping down after three years. When asked if he's looking for a new job, he was like, 'Nah, just browsing.'
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Bernie Sanders' presidential campaign announced that it raised over $1.5 million in the 24 hours after he announced his bid. Meanwhile, a 12-year-old on Kickstarter just raised $7 million in five minutes after announcing his idea for juice box water guns.
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Senate Democrats blocked President Obama's trade bill yesterday because they're worried it could hurt jobs. It's not an issue for Republicans, since they've all found work as presidential candidates.
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There couldn't have been a better Hollywood ending for us. It's beyond baseball. It's rooting for your family.
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Researches tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn't get the user high, prompting patients who need medical marijuana to declare, 'Thank you?'
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